mt

tvscripts:

chris pratt does the ice bucket challenge, hilarity ensues

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 

weakhoe:

gr4ceffa:

this video was a ride from start to finish

This officially the best video i have ever seen

reasonsmysoniscrying:

reasonsmykidissmiling:

"It’s his first time on live television. Apparently."
Submitted By: Carla F.
Location: Pennsylvania, United States
(via Buzzfeed)

From the “Reasons My Kid Is Smiling” page, but too great not to share here too.

holyshitspn:

Things Dumbledore Did That’d Be Creepy If You Did them

Marauders Appreciation Week [1/7] - One Order Member

The school greeted Minerva McGonagall’s return with delight. Minerva threw herself into her work, proving herself a strict but inspirational teacher…. The death of Dougal McGregor, however, although traumatic, seemed to free Minerva. Shortly after Voldemort’s first defeat, Elphinstone, now white-haired, proposed again during a summertime stroll around the lake in the Hogwarts grounds. This time Minerva accepted. The marriage (cut tragically short, though it was destined to be) was a very happy one. The accidental death of Elphinstone from a Venomous Tentacula bite, three years into their marriage, was an enormous sorrow to all who knew the couple. Minerva could not bear to remain alone in their cottage, but packed her things after Elphinstone’s funeral and returned to her sparse stone-floored bedroom in Hogwarts Castle. Always a very brave and private person, she poured all her energy into her work, and few people - excepting perhaps Albus Dumbledore - ever realised how much she suffered. [x]

somnambulant-directives:

29 Celebrity Impressions, 1 Original Song

kwills88:

I have like the weirdest boner right now.

This is so much better than that “kissing strangers for the first time” video

drtanner:

iamtonysexual:

thegestianpoet:

confusedtree:

There are people in the world who don’t think Waluigi is the best Mario character and that he doesn’t deserve his own game
Isn’t that astounding

is he telling an entire stadium to suck his weewee

his
waluweewee

Reblogging again for fucking waluweewee are you fucking serious

drtanner:

iamtonysexual:

thegestianpoet:

confusedtree:

There are people in the world who don’t think Waluigi is the best Mario character and that he doesn’t deserve his own game

Isn’t that astounding

is he telling an entire stadium to suck his weewee

his

waluweewee

Reblogging again for fucking waluweewee are you fucking serious