mt
remember cell phones in the 90s

remember cell phones in the 90s

posted 1 year ago with 4 notes

when the guys love watching die hard and bruce willis was in 3 episodes

posted 1 year ago with 2 notes

"really Pheebs? you have to be an actual waitress. this can’t be like your ‘I can be a bear cub’ thing"

posted 1 year ago with 1 note

"a woman in my office is a lesbian. I’m just saying!!"

posted 1 year ago with 1 note

"I got her machine." "her answering machine?" "no, interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up."

posted 2 years ago with 1 note

"stop being so testosteroni." "which, by the way, is the REAL san francisco treat."

posted 2 years ago with 1 note

"mental note: if Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. if she offers you mangled animal carcass, YOU TAKE IT."

posted 2 years ago with 2 notes

"you wouldn’t know a great butt if it came up and bit you."

posted 2 years ago

"sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. …did I say that out loud?"

posted 2 years ago with 1 note

"you were my midnight mystery kisser?" "you were my first kiss with Rachel?" "YOU WERE MY FIRST KISS EVER?" "WHAT DID I MARRY INTO?!"

posted 2 years ago with 2 notes